Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
