Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
