she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
