so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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