There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
