The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
