I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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