my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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