if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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