so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Small penises have feelings too.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
