My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
