yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I love you. Go after that dick
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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