Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
