you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
