I bet he comes in French.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
