She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
