Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
