lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
and she was petting her beer can
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
