I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
