I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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