I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
