There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
