Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
