fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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