I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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