she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
