Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
