you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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