I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
