I queefed so loud it echoed.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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