if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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