i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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