and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
