oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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