Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
