with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
