The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
