I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
