you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
