Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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