you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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