Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
