I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
