dude i'm inner monologue high
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
