friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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