do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
