i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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