I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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