Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
