How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
